Hey Fedi, question: I really dislike titles, and a form is requiring that I provide one. I don't mind "Mx" and "Ind.", but being cis, I don't want to appropriate something that is more used by enby and agender folks.
Do you feel like I'd be appropriating? Would you object to a (slightly non-conforming) cis dude using them? Do you know of a title that just really means "titles are stupid"?
@stragu this survey might be of interest to you:
"People whose titles were >*not* Mx considered it to be a nonbinary title by a wide margin, but people whose titles *were* Mx considered it to be inclusive."
Personally I'd say… the more people use non-gendered titles, the better.
@maunzi great, thank you for your input! That's really interesting. Still, knowing that, in the population surveyed, close to 40% of the people who use Mx as their title think that it is an exclusively enby title, I feel like I might be offending many people...
I feel like I might use "Ind." instead, which seems to be less controversial, or even put "no title" in.
@stragu You could be a Reverend. Many options. The Universal Life Church has one (1) rule, to agree to 'do what is right' according to one's own conscious. The Church of the SubGenius includes membership in the Universal Life Church, and also guarantees a window seat on the flying saucers that will save us when the world ends on July 5th, and also eternal slack by adherence to the sales techniques of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. Again, many options.
@stragu honestly i don't know about everybody, but personally i (being nonbinary) don't feel this is appropriative to do. Ind. especially feels very unassuming. displaying your assigned gender should not be a requirement for anyone, cis or not.
i mean heck, sometimes i pick Dr. on forms that don't have a neutral option. (i'm not a doctor of any sort)
@heytanuki I think I understand what you're saying: you mean the form requiring me to write something in the "title" field is inappropriate? If that's it, I totally agree with you. And using something that states "it's none of your business, why do you even need that" would be a means to make them move away from requiring it. Or did you mean something else?
@stragu right! they don't deserve to have information you might not want to share, just because they want to be "polite"
unfortunately, with a form like this, there's not a lot you can actually do to make yourself heard, since it tends to force a choice. but if you wanna put Mx or Ind heck, go with it.
honestly this question was way more thought-provoking than i expected!
@yaaps I like the idea of punching upwards, although in my case I would have to go all the way to something really silly like "The Most Honourable" because it's an academia event and there would be people who were awarded PhDs there and I would look like I'm a fraud if they ever printed "Dr." on a sticker 😂
@stragu demilady genderqueer enby here, uses Mx, I say go for whatever you prefer between Mx and Ind.
like, if you were talking about a social media profile or something, it might be appropriate to note that you're cis somewhere in your profile so you don't confuse enbies hungry for positive representation, but yeah - I don't see a problem with cis people choosing a non-gendered title.
@ben I guess I was asking because I didn't "feel like it fits" enough, based on what I had read about it so far! I'm still quite new to gender diversity and being an ally and the Fedi has been huge for me to learn about all its aspects. So I prefer to ask and learn when I'm unsure :)
I don't think someone is an asshole for being offended and feeling like a white cis dude is taking something away from them – yet again.
Really glad I asked and heard many different opinions! 👍